"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose." ~~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Hello! I am known as Moonaura to some of my friends. I am a starving artist. Some things I enjoy are drawing, painting, writing, reading, looking at the world, expressing myself, and just surviving daily life.I am not a therapist. I am a rape survivor. I was gang raped December 31, 1985 by my boyfriend (at the time) and three of his friends. After I walked out of there ~ still amazed I did at times ~ I pretended it did not happen. I stuffed it away because I was not able to cope with it then.
Well, in July 1996, God must have decided it was time for me to start working on it and dealing with it. It started with small flashes of memories. And then the nightmares came. So it was time to start talking about it. That is a very hard thing to do ~ it is exposing your inner soul. Showing the world your vulnerability. I heard this saying when I first started talking about my rape . . . "You saw it, you heard it, how come you cannot feel it?" That is how it was for me at first. I was seeing and hearing - but not feeling it. It was like it happened to someone else.
When they raped me, they took away control of my life. I know that is hard for people to understand, but it is true. When they raped me, my boundaries, my right to say no, my sense of control in the world, was violated. Nothing I did could have stopped it, but it still permeates my
whole life. It seemed for so long that I have not had the right, the control or the strength to put boundaries up, to say no, to express my feelings, or to make decisions. They denied and twisted my reality and I feel sometimes I am going crazy.
Now I have taken back my life! And all I have stuffed away for 11 years is being dealt with. I have moved forward on my journey of healing. And hope to help others move forward on their healing journey.
This website is a personal evolution of words, pictures, graphics...it is an expression of myself. I hope that it helps others on their journey...whatever that journey maybe....
peace and serenity,
darby ~ moonaura
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[ - poems - ] [ - art - ]
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resources - ] [ - random
whisperings - ] [ - favorite
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[ - email me - ]
